You are not dead…yet.

How can embracing your mortality lead to fulfilling relationships and sex life.

I had never sailed before or done night shifts on my own. Some people saw it as brave, some days I thought it was only irresponsible.

Perhaps it was a bit of both. We were sailing downwind, enjoying the speed of high winds and tall waves, surrounded by the Pacific Ocean. We had not seen land for two nights. I noticed red spots on the radar indicating storms surrounding us. I didn't know how to track storms, so I couldn't predict if they would hit us and when. It was a possibility I hadn't even considered before.

Suddenly, I felt a wet thing that sent me sliding from one side of the cockpit to the other. The boat tilted, and I found myself completely wet and began to get cold really fast.

I quickly checked my tether to make sure I was still secure. My heart raced as I tried to understand what had just happened. A massive wave had just hit me. It was the first time I truly realized how easily I could go overboard while sailing, in less than a second: The awareness of the fragility of life.

I began to pay attention to the moments when nothing significant was happening, which while sailing is most of the time.

A prevailing thought appeared in my mind:

- Nothing is happening. My system relaxed. An expansion.

- But anything can happen at any time: a storm, a failure, going overboard, an accident. My system tensed up. A contraction.

When this thought showed up, I allowed myself to take a deep breath: But right now, at this moment, nothing is happening. It became really interesting to observe how ingrained this conditioning lives in my system.

I believe that there is a tendency to relate in the same way. Most of the time nothing is happening, yet we are awaiting: the abandonment, the infidelity, the conflict, the not knowing how to be a partner. We start acting and reacting from this space, most of the time we shut down, push or run away. We are relating mostly from our wounding and our contractions, disregarding that as long as we have life (or the relationship is alive) there are options. We can choose.

There are many ways to free ourselves from this way of relating, Tantric philosophy is one of them. In tantra we understand that true transformation doesn't come from desiring to change or create new patterns, but from having powerful experiences that can shape us. The uncomfortable conversations, showing up for conflict, risk our relationships as we have known them to build something even greater, being able to sit with that which is truly uncomfortable. You are not dead, there is no reason for stagnation, but there is also no reason to run away because as much as you run, you will never be able to run from yourself and the experiences you create in a relationship.

This is an invitation to live as a brave, vulnerable, and authentic individual that knows what it wants and does what is needed to get it. Decide who you want to be in your relationship right now. Do not wait for your partner to give the first step. If you are single, don't even wait for a partner. Connect with that uncomfortable issue you are currently dealing with, face it, allow it to exist. Understand what it is showing you, what truly wants to be born from here. By stepping out of your comfort zones, you can create the necessary space for true love, deep intimacy and epic sex.

Are you ready to discover what lies beyond your wildest dreams? Are you curious to explore the untapped realms of personal growth and transformation that await you through tantric teachings?

Explore more about this in this blog.

Stay true.